Relaxing can take a lot of effort, which is ironic in itself, but sometimes you just need to be somewhere else. A change of scenery can do wonders…

I think I’ve always been a restless guy. Easily bored. And though the term ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) was not used in my early years, I was definitely that. In second grade I recall my teacher writing on my report card, “can be distracting and not focused.” That sounds pretty much like the definition of ADD! A few years later, early in my seventh-grade social studies class, I remember the teacher saying to me, “can’t you just focus on this one thing?” and the answer appeared to be a “no,” and this was just a simple project of creating multi-level views of a map of Europe with overlays on top.

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After high school graduation I knew college was not my thing, especially since I had no focus or field of study. That didn’t stop a lot of kids from going to college, and “Liberal Arts,” was the collective bucket they slid into. And college was cheap in 1972; less than $3,000 for a state school in Pennsylvania, which was still affordable back then, based on cost of living. My mother, born in Hungary, for years offered and begged for me to go to Hungary with her to visit. See Budapest, visit her hometown of Miskolc. I never did, wasn’t that interested, and was too arrogant to “travel with Mom,” who was overbearing in my youth since I was an only child.

Sorry, Mom…

To this day one of my life’s Biggest Regrets.

Even though college didn’t call me, I tried Junior College for a semester, was bored to death, didn’t stay, so entered the workforce in the car industry, which is where I stayed until August of 1975, when I was 21 years old. My restlessness was hitting its peak, so when my cousin Michael, same age as me, invited me to visit him in California; I said yes.

The plan was to drive 3000 miles cross country by myself, and fortunately I had a nice newer car, and felt that it would be a safe trip. And fun. I was pretty sheltered until then, so driving WEST of Pennsylvania for the first time opened up new horizons. I had never camped, never set up a tent, cooked on a portable stove, or any of those fun things that many kids do with their parents. This was all new to me—and I loved it. As an only child I had no problem being alone for days on end, and I had all those hours each day in my car, all that time, so what else was there to do, but think.

Yellowstone. Cold. Pristine, Beautiful. 1975

And that was one of the first times I had serious conversations with me about what I wanted to do with my life.

I loved California and ended up staying for a year, worked in a ski town, then drove cross country again, to Florida, where I stayed for two years, then moved to Canada for the summer with my (then) Canadian love. In 1977 I drove back again to California via the TransCanada Highway, and lived there for forty years.

Fast forward fifty years, uh, that’s half a century! and here we are. Today. Wherever that is at any given time, but currently, for me, here in Southeast Asia.

As a retired guy, I theoretically have “all the time in the world,” but sometimes it’s hard to fill that space, and I find that sometimes it’s hard just BEING. Not doing, not planning; just doing. Nothing.

The idea for this stream of consciousness came about a few weeks ago while Kat and I were in Sanur, Bali. Like I’m wont to do, I decided to scout out some other places to visit or live aside from Sanur, and took a few days to visit the much smaller towns of Sidemen and Candidasa.

Sidemen was a small village, in the hills, and heard it represented the way Bali used to be, since it had few tourist attractions aside from rice fields, some waterfalls, and places to hike. The 90-minute ride was surprisingly pleasant, and as I approached my homestay (hotel) down this gravel driveway, I recognized that I was in a much less civilized and commercialized part of the island. I dropped off my bags and went off to explore the town. And I found no “town” to speak off. There was a main road, another road that intersected it, and that was “downtown.” That’s it. No McDonalds, no restaurants to speak of, not much of anything to interest me. I Googled restaurant selections and found a great one on the edge of a rice field and had a delicious dinner for just a few bucks. I had a tentative list of “things to do,” and that would require a scooter since nothing was close, so planned that for the following day.

The next morning I enjoyed a breakfast on my patio, and since it was overcast with a chance of rain, I thought it wise to postpone the scooter since I don’t enjoy getting caught in the rain.

How could you NOT stop, and just…be?

I started my walk with no specific destination and sauntered down the street. I found this beautiful bridge with a river just as pretty, quite pristine, and just enjoyed that for a few minutes. I continued on and found a really cute little hotel on that river, so wandered into the back yard where there was a deck overlooking the water. A few feet away was another view area, covered from the sun, and there was not a soul there, so I stopped, grabbed a comfy chair, and just sat watching the water. And I sat there for almost an hour, mesmerized, hypnotized, and reflecting on HOW I got there, at that time and space. And I had an abundance of Gratitude, to be able to DO those things I never even dreamed of in my youth. Living in Bali?? NOT on MY radar!!

I inquired about the rooms and took a peek, and they were only about $20 night, so saved it in my Maps, and made a point to return sometime in the future. I walked on and came to one of the few attractions IN Sidemen; their famous rice terrace. For $1.50 admission I decided to go in, and I just followed the path as it skirted the perimeter of the fields. I’ve been through rice fields before, like them, and this was especially beautiful. Between the overcast skies that let out a few little droplets, and warm sun, the wind never stopped blowing and I walked for an hour. And it was heavenly. Imagine my surprise when I came upon a little waterfall flowing into the irrigation canal, so stopped for that picture worthy moment, and then around the next corner was a little stand, run by a solitary woman selling coconuts. Coconuts are incredibly healthy, especially when you’re dehydrated, so how could I not support this local woman? Once again I had to stop and just be. Sitting in the middle of a rice plantation in Bali, once again I drifted off into Lala land. Here I was in Bali for the third time in two years. How many people can say that??

The path continued, a few raindrops fell off and on, but nothing to make this saunter through my life troublesome. Finally I came to the end and found a little warung, which is Indonesian for “café,” a place to grab some food or a drink. It started to drizzle more heavily so I grabbed a stool and just sat, mesmerized by the rain droplets falling onto the rice field paddies. Three times over a few hours I had reflected upon my life and how I got there. So, is that doing “nothing?” or is this something we don’t do often enough?

This little side trip taught me a pretty valuable lesson, a simple as it was. So much of our lives– so much of my life—has been spent going and doing, and sometimes we forget to just stop all that bullshit and just be. So this day which had no specific plan or agenda, ended up being a magical one.

No matter where you are in life–physically, spiritually, mentally, or emotionally– I think it’s healthy to occasionally just stop and do nothing. Reflect on WHERE you are, what you’re doing, and ask yourself, “Is this what I want from life?” Some of us have less time left on our clocks that others, but maybe my experience will give you pause and allow you to just—

Be.

If only for a minute.